Trump Strongly Considering A Full Pardon for Kyle Rittenhouse

President Trump is consulting his legal team on just what he’d need to do to issue a full pardon for Kyle Rittenhouse, the Kenosha Killer.

According to sources close to the Trump exit team, Kenosha Kyle is a hero to the president’s base, and he needs to keep them happy if he’s going to hang onto them for his 2024 run.

Rittenhouse is out on bond in Wisconsin after being charged with several felonies, including one pre-meditated murder.

Legal experts say Rittenhouse is all but guaranteed to plead down so he doesn’t spend 25 to life in prison, but they don’t seem to take into account that Rittenhouse is on Team Trump, which means he gets to think he’s winning his “self-defense” case right up until they take him back into custody until sentencing.

So Trump issuing him a pardon would be pretty huge. He’d get to walk out a free man, not even 18 yet, change his name, shed a few pounds, and maybe have some facial featured upgrade, like a chin or something.

According to skeptics, it wouldn’t matter what the President of the United States says, because they don’t “recognize his authority.” This is still America, bub. You will recognize and obey.

A spokesman for the Kenosha DA says they have no plans to drop the case, despite what the president says:

“Yeah, we don’t answer to the federal government. You guys should really do some reading. They hide information like that in books.”

Most experts tend to agree, but the pardon will make sure Joe Biden doesn’t come in and order his Attorney General, Michelle Obama, to charge the poor kid with federal hate and civil rights violations.

Meanwhile, Trump’s base continues to rally around violent criminals, glorifying their actions and calling for more, while the rest of the country has moved on.

But that’s what makes a Trump supporter a true American, patriots, amirite?

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 101 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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