Joe Biden Says He’ll Offer Ivanka Trump a Spot In His Administration If She ‘Turns On Daddy’

Sources close to Ivanka Trump are telling our sources that sources close to the Biden transition team have been reaching out to the soon to be former First Daughter to see if she’d like a job.

It remained unclear what position she would qualify for in an administration based more in science and compassion than fashion, profits, and cruelty, but some experts have said she’s a great fit.

One professor from an esteemed online university says she’d make a great undersecretary of labor since she has mentioned women and unfair wages at least twice in the past four years.

Another expert in the field of political appointments in the field of general politics says Ivanka has no relevant skills, but that having a Trump on board would go far to appease Donald’s base:

“To these people, image is everything. Mostly because they can’t read. So having Ivanka show up to cabinet meetings will not only lend a certain element of ignorance and hate they so badly desire, sh’ell also be eye candy for dudes in scruffy goatees and mirrored Oakleys who think plastic surgery equals ‘natural beauty.’ It’s a phenomenon Joe Biden should definitely consider.”

We reached out to Ivanka’s people and got no response, though Jared Kushner’s personal barber says they’re definitely mulling it over:

“It’s no secret that the Trumps are a mess of a fmaily who all pretty much hate each other, so there’s a real opportunity here for the power couple. Donny Jr. and Eric are likely to do some time, and Daddy will probably go on a Big Mac binge and stroke out from sodium intake, so Ivanka will need a card or two to play.

“They might even switch back to being Democrats so she can run for Hillary Clinton’s senate seat in New York.”

Looks like we’ll need to keep a close eye on this one, Patriots.

Ivanka Trump is no dummy. Maybe she’ll join and take them all down from the inside.

Or maybe she’ll use her position to get some more patents approved and ensure that the trump legacy lives on.

It’s anyone’s guess.

About Flagg Eagleton 87 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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