New Bio Reveals Kamala’s Affair With Sharpton


In the political world, running for office opens a candidate’s entire life up to the scalpel of scrutiny.  Voters use someone’s past actions and motivations to help gauge the type of person he or she is, and how that contender might meet the challenge of the position to which they aspire.  Skeletons in that closet can derail a campaign.

Donald Trump, of course, is an exception.  His mentally handicapped cult of doddering mutants ignores his history of criminal fraud, sexual deviance and harassment, tax evasion, ignorance of the constitution, terribly ridiculous false statements, public signs of textbook dementia, rampant racism, core psychological defects, child abuse, negligence, and toxic levels of bad judgement.

“The man is so polluted, I’m charging him a carbon tax just for existing.”

Forgetting all that, a new biography by author Sandy Batt, Kamala Harris - Conservative’s Reason to Be Public Douchebags has revealed nothing whatsoever about Al Sharpton, which won’t matter to the fatally trumptarded.

“The disgusting parade of black mold that IS Trump’s base loves to pretend Kamala is some kind of ‘slut’ for several reasons.  First, because they were raised by old fossil zealots for fathers, who probably themselves abused every vagina within ten miles, including cows.  They subsist on an ancient system of morality that no one with any intelligence believes anymore.   Second, related to the first, they’re overwhelmingly reaching end of life, and have long ago ended any hope of sexual activity.  They’re jealous old dry sandpaper pots, desperate to pretend they’re celibate on purpose.  And of course, she’s black, so that slut shaming reinforces their racist stereotypes.  Boomers gonna boom.  Hopefully, not for much longer.”

“Follow me, dittoheads!”

Although the fictional bio and affair are sure to elicit misogynistic responses from trumptards using douche-chillingly bad jokes from their 1950’s dusty senses of humor, neither of them has even a shred of truth.  But that hasn’t stopped the trumpily deficient before.  They’re basically what happens when cousins become parents.

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