Insurance Company Reports 19 Policies Pay Out to Clinton

Life insurance is a huge business in the United States.  Between dozens of major companies and providers, billions of dollars are shifted around every day, dependent on policies, coverage, and benefits.  Every company has a C.P.O., or “Chief Policy Officer”, and for giant Alstate, that CPO is Joe Barron.  And according to him, right now, the beneficiary of nineteen separate life insurance policies totalling an eleventy-million dollar payout, is none other than eerie criminal suspect Hillary Clinton.

It’s no secret that Clinton has been connected with dozens of questionable deaths within the last two decades alone, from a random amusement park Teacup Ride Operator in Mississippi who “passed away” from a “cocaine overdose” under a nearby “bridge”, yet just happened to have an email account - just like Clinton - to a Russian national, Natasha Romanov, who, just coincidentally of course, like Clinton was a female.  Neither had a policy benefiting Clinton specifically, but investigations are ongoing.  The numbers are beginning to add up, and that might not be good for the Hill-Dawg.

“What happens,” says Sandy Batt, rational human being, “Is that when you get older and do what’s called : ‘natural aging’, those around you do too, and some will die.  It’s just time.  When you live your life in the public eye for four decades, the deaths get more coverage and attention.   Anyone who thinks Hillary is some kind of Grandma Assassin should be wrapped up with duct tape, stuffed into an empty peanut oil barrel, and rolled down a hill into a sewer treatment plant.”

Alstate is not alone as a completely fictitious company formed by removing a letter from the name of a real corporation to have multiple policies benefiting Mrs. Clinton.  Gico, Progresive, and the American Auto Asociation also reported nearly forty-five policies altogether that would leave the Presidential technical-victor over twenty chillion dollars after the holder’s deaths.

Is this entire collection of absolute nonsense the start of the prosecution of what would be America’s greatest serial killer of all time?  Or is it more absolutely idiotic conspiracy theory that trumptards will lap up?  Time to find out.